Not a miss-spelling of Tokyo, as you will see.
Here's a question: what are the key accessories that give me my typical 'look'?
Obviously my glasses, for one thing. I've settled on oval metal lenses, the colour variable (formerly gold, but currently a raspberry-silver), and devoid of fancy decoration.
Rings? One small silver ring on each hand.
Necklaces? Most usually that flexible silver rope that looks like a slow-worm.
And on my head, a hairband. Since other people tend to look at our faces and hair most of all, a hairband will get noticed - as much as glasses do, I'd say.
So there you have the key elements in my 'look'. And it's been this way for a long time. How long? I've worn glasses since the mid-1980s. The little ring on my left hand dates from 1994. The slow-worm necklace from 2008. The other ring from 2009.
When did I start wearing a hairband? It seems forever. But no. I have ample photographic evidence to draw upon, and purchasing records, and these show that I began to wear a hairband in the middle of April 2011. That's very nearly ten years ago, of course, and ten years is a long time. My Money Diary spreadsheet for 2011 tells me that I bought a series of very inexpensive hairbands from Superdrug, Accessorize and Boots on and after 16th April 2011.
I wonder what made me try hairbands out? I was fifty-nine then. I looked quite a bit younger than I do now, but still no spring chicken, and I must have been aware of the standard advice to avoid hairbands because they can look little-girlish, and embarrassingly inappropriate on an older woman. Well, I did exercise restraint! I wanted to make a safely adult choice. I bought bands coloured black and brown, rather than pink or yellow or lime green, and they were plain plastic bands, not ones embellished with bows, glitter, or iridescent butterflies and ponies. Nor did I buy thick bands covered in brightly-coloured fabric, which I could have considered, if I'd had the right complexion or ethnicity. But I judged that an unflamboyant paleface pushing fifty from Northern Europe had best go for something muted. Here's a picture of myself taken at home on 17th April 2011, the earliest picture I can find of myself with a hairband.
Not all my friends liked me in a hairband, even a sober black one, and by August 2017 I'd let myself be persuaded that it was time to do without. It was a sacrifice that I was in all honesty not keen to make, because not only did I think hairbands suited me, I liked the feel of them on my head. It was rather comforting. (I know, like a kid's comfort blanket) And although I went bandless inside my own home, it seemed improper not to wear one on social occasions. But I was told that I'd look better, and more adult, without a hairband - although by then I was in my mid-sixties, and I couldn't believe anyone would be fooled into thinking me young, if I were sporting a hairband. And no, it didn't matter if my hair was now completely at the mercy of the wind: I was told that a wind-blown look could be sophisticated, even sexy (even though I didn't give a monkey's about looking sexy).
No ultimatum was ever presented to me, but a convenient moment did come to Renounce The Hairband. I handed it over. And binned the rest. My friends were pleased, congratulated me on the decision, and thought me mature. I wouldn't regret it. Summer was coming. I could enjoy a whole new look. (And I'd no longer need to hide the fact that I was wearing a hairband from my hair stylist, who disapproved of them)
Well, I tried to live without my hairband. But after a few months, I gave up. After all, all around me women of all ages were propping sunglasses up on their heads, using them just like hairbands. Hah! And women were using scrunchies and hairclips and various other hair accessories. Hah! So why did I have to do without? I began to feel just a little controlled. Anyway, I missed my old look, which I saw every time I examined my photo collection - something I did, for one reason or another, on a daily basis.
The outcome was inevitable. It's always best to be honest, and do what your heart tells you to do. I went ahead, bought a new band, and put it on. My friends noticed straight away. Yes, I said, making no attempt to justify or explain the repurchase of the bands thrown away. Why should I? It was my look, after all. The truly adult thing was to assert my own personal style without apology. But I made one concession. I now wore a brown plastic band that you might vaguely call 'tortoiseshell'. It was agreed that this was better than black. The subject was dropped. Both sides had won!
I did make one or two attempts, unprompted, to discard wearing a hairband thereafter. And I couldn't wear one for a while after gashing my scalp in November 2019. But I returned to them. I would usually wear that fake-tortoiseshell brown plastic hairband that satisfied my friends, mainly because it didn't seem so plain and uninteresting as a black band. I wanted a change from black. I was starting to move beyond mere function. I wanted beauty too.
Then in August 2020, I had a sudden hankering for the genuine article, meaning a hand-finished tortoiseshell hairband in a better material, with a superior appearance. You may remember that I published a post on a hairband that I bought online from Crisco. This is what their medium-width (15mm) tortoiseshell hairband looked like. I was very pleased with it.
But having experienced a luxury hairband, it was unsatisfying to be without one. In the months that followed I looked on Etsy and in other online places, to see what I could buy. But at first I didn't see anything to compare with the Crisco band.
Incidentally, I wasn't trying to buy a duplicate. I wanted a wider band, which would have more surface area, and (I reckoned) would be more secure on my head, and yet without exerting unwanted pressure. Finally, I found what I wanted three days ago. The chosen online retailer was Tegen Accessories, who just happened to trade from Brighton, not a million miles away from me. They had a whole collection of bands that caught my attention. But my first purchase would have to be another tortoiseshell band, like the Crisco one. Tegen called their version 'Dark Tokio'. It was a full 20mm wide. Too wide? I didn't want it to be over-prominent. Well, I decided to be daring, order one, and take a chance.
It arrived next day. It was most prettily packaged. Inside the delivery box was green tissue paper, and inside that was a yellow cotton bag with pink drawstrings. Inside that was a truly beautiful object, according to Tegen handmade in France.
And guess what? Within a day I'd ordered another hairband from Tegen, this time in 'White Tokio', which will be a lighter-coloured band for bright sunny days in the summer ahead. So I'll have a choice between two beautiful hairbands - depending on the occasion, my clothes, and my whim of the moment.
These two bands weren't cheap to buy. I've spent £55-odd on them. But then this is my first expenditure for 2021 on 'clothes, shoes and accessories'. With nearly a quarter of the year already gone! In that light, it doesn't seem so much. And it's so nice to buy something new.
So roll on the first social occasion, now that the Lockdown is gradually lifting!
