I mean that Waitrose customers are, by and large, middle-class (so that they can afford the higher prices) and - one might suppose - reasonably well-educated. Is it going to far to suggest they might, as a group of consumers, also be well-informed and sensible?
Well apparently not. Look at this.
All the toilet rolls gone. Shoppers have come in and stripped the shelves. They are empty, at least for now. The same with the shelf space devoted to paracetamol in its various preparations. A number of people have panicked and bought as much in the way of toilet paper and paracetamol as they could. Probably enough for a siege. And yet - and I believe them - the manufacturers and the distributors and the stores all insist that there is no shortage, except that caused by this kind of (rather selfish) panic buying.
It's way too early in the Coronavirus epidemic to do this. Does the report of 200-odd infected Brits, two deaths, really justify the reversion to a primitive free-for-all, with a few smug people walking off with much more than they need, robbing others of a chance to buy their normal supply? All on the whisper of phrases like 'self-quarantine', as if that means stocking up for three or four months ahead, with the bunker door locked and bolted.
But then, that's human nature, isn't it? Fuelled, no doubt, by articles in the press, and misinformation on Social Media. They read on Twitter or Facebook or Mumsnet that 'toilet rolls' and 'paracetamol' might get short if a lot of people have to stay at home, or develop a fever. So they go out at once and scour the shops for the products mentioned. I dare say it would be the same if a rumour began that 'nappies' were running out, or 'milk', or 'bananas'. There would be an immediate knee-jerk panic response. Sigh.
It will only lead to rationing, and arguments when people who should know better, but are full of fear, start to lose their self-control. You can imagine the news headlines. 'Till terror: staff at Tesco attacked by hysterical man.' 'Pasta wars: eleven hurt.' And so on.
There may indeed come a time when it will be wise to have a three-week supply on hand, in case one does get infected and needs to stay home. I've got a reasonably well-stocked fridge, freezer and tin shelf already, enough to last me about two weeks at present. It won't need much enhancing.
If I fall ill, I'll let the NHS know by phoning 111, and then sign up with Tesco or Waitrose for online deliveries.
If I stay in good health, I'll continue to shop at Waitrose, at quiet times. Or, if necessary, get fresh meat, fruit and vegetables from my usual farm shop (or any of the others: there are plenty of out-of-town farm shops in rural Sussex).
Fortunately I live alone, travel about alone in my own car, and never need to use public transport. I don't even mind the prospect of complete social disengagement for a while. I'm temperamentally well-suited for a spell in solitary confinement, at least in my own home, or in my caravan. But I hope it won't actually come to that.
Getting back to toilet rolls, I was listening to Clive Bull on LBC earlier tonight, and one lady who called in told how she and her family never use toilet paper nowadays. This was after a holiday in Dubai where they learned new ways. They use water instead. She didn't explain quite how, if one is fully clothed. (Some kind of bidet? Or special wet wipes?) But if nude (too much nudity on this post lately!) it could be a practical way of cleaning up. And would certainly save a ton of toilet paper. She was enthusiastic. Worth thinking about?
