HOW much?

It's said that a Yorkshireman looks after his brass, meaning the pennies in his pocket. There's a rumour that pubs throughout Yorkshire are losing money because they dare not increase what they charge for beer. I've been told about the Yorkshire rugby team who crowded into a Huddersfield pub, every man ordering a pint of the local Best, but when informed what it would cost, cried in unison 'HOW much?' and walked out in disgust, leaving the untouched drinks on the bar.

I've been to many parts of Yorkshire, and it's not my impression that the price of beer matters quite so much to the male inhabitants. But as I never go into a traditional Yorkshire pub unaccompanied, I can't confirm or refute their reputation for wanting Value For Money where beer is concerned.

Come to think of it, I don't know many people from God's Own County. I conjecture that they would never hear the last of it if they moved down to the Soft South of England. So they stay up north, and one rarely meets a Yorkshire person in Sussex. And there is another reason for that, overriding any natural personal preference: Sussex house prices are very high. Not as astronomical as London prices, but eye-wateringly high compared to prices in most Yorkshire locations.

I was perusing Zoopla, which will not only give you the prices of properties actually for sale in any chosen area, but provide you with an estimate of what a particular property might be worth, just in case you were thinking of selling. I casually looked up what the Cottage was reckoned to be worth nowadays. This was the riverside-village property I bought jointly with M--- in 2007 as an investment. We put in, all told, £509,000 between us. Soon after, the property market sank. It took four long years to sell for a desperate £335,000, and I lost all of my share of the money put in. That's just history now; but I've remained curious to know whether the value of this large house ever recovered to its 2007 level. Zoopla told me that, in its opinion, the Cottage could now be sold for anything between £485,000 and £727,000, with £606,000 as the probable price achievable.

Well, well! So if we had hung on for twelve long years we would have got our money back, and made the £100,000-odd profit we'd had in mind when investing in 2007 - if you accept Zoopla's judgement on these matters. The catch here is that twelve-year wait! The running costs of the place nearly bankrupted me by 2011, so that I was utterly relieved to have it off my hands - and never mind the thumping loss. (It was a joint project, but I was the formal owner, and carried the financial can) I don't think I could have survived eight more nerve-racking years with that albatross around my neck.

It seems, though, that Sussex prices have been edging up again lately.

So what about my own home? Mum and Dad bought my house in late 1999 for £150,000. About ten years later, I inherited it when they died. That was in early 2009. Local property values had been growing nicely up to 2007, but then softened considerably. Mum and Dad's house was valued for Estate Duty purposes at rather less than £300,000, in a still-falling market. That lacklustre valuation was confirmed when a similar house next door went for 'only' £305,100 as late as April 2014. But since then growing general demand has been pushing up the sale value. Despite treading water while Brexit was stalling, I would have said my home was, in late 2019, worth over £400,000.

Imagine my surprise to see Zoopla telling me that - in their opinion - my little home could now be sold for anything between £446,000 and £546,000, with £496,000 as the probable price achievable in a sale.

How much?

It's all academic, of course. I'm settled here. I don't want to move. I have great neighbours and lovely local friends, and Mid Sussex is such a good place to be as regards shops, hospitals, and nearby facilities of all kinds. Especially if you're edging into older life. The only thing that would drive me out - and probably take me north - would be climate change, as I don't like fierce summer heat. But if Sussex remains pleasant, there's nothing to make me go.

Still, it's nice to know that I'm sitting on such an asset. I may still have a low savings account balance - the car and caravan loans are not quite paid off yet - but it gives me a cosy feeling to know that I could sell up and realise quite a lot of money.

But to have another home as good, and stay mortgage-free, I'd have to move far away from the South. Perhaps a very long way. However, there are many nice homes northward that I could consider. This one, for example, which I walked past last April:

A modern upmarket build. Plenty of level space to park the caravan. Not hemmed in by neighbours.

Nice L-shaped layout.  Big windows. I like the two arched ones. It'll be spacious inside.

No, this wasn't in the south. It was in fact a house in Wick, in the far north of Scotland. I found the estate agents that were selling it later the same afternoon, and here it was in their window:

A big plot and four bedrooms - and outbuildings - all for £265,000!

How much?

That was in April. It's now December. I can't find it still up for sale on Rightmove, so presumably it has gone. On the other hand, there's no valuation yet in Zoopla, so it must have been sold recently.

I wonder who bought it? Its price was well above the average for Wick. In fact it would have been one of the most expensive homes there - although very cheap for Sussex! Had I gone for it, I'd presumably now have - if you believe Zoopla! - some £200,000 in the bank, left over from the sale. Gosh, that would be my loss on the Cottage back...

I could do a lot with £200,000. No doubt I'd have quickly made local friends, and got on with constructing a social life. Today, just before Christmas, I'd be relaxing in my lounge, with the central heating turned up (never mind the cost), contemplating an afternoon run in Fiona down the coast, with (no doubt) a nice new camera to play with.

And yet. There's an excellent Tesco in Wick - but no Waitrose for two hundred miles. Nothing much in the way of upmarket shopping. Not many nice places to eat. And Hobson's choice as regards doctor, dentist, optician, and any hospital appointments needed.

Would it be a long-term proposition as I grew older? No, not really. I can just imagine the bother of having to fly, in my eighties, to Inverness, just to see a specialist at the big hospital there. And do I want to desert my lovely friends down here in Sussex? Just to see Orkney in the sunset any day of the year? I think not.