On a war footing

I can't help feeling that secretly a lot of people are enjoying this slide into a No Deal Brexit. All this talk of putting the necessary preparations in place 'just in case'; the drip-drip propaganda that they may well be necessary unless there is a last-minute change in the EU's attitude; orders to the Civil Service to get into gear and make us ready for The Day - 31st October - when, by default, a state of divorce will exist between the United Kingdom and the EU...

We are being conditioned - mobilised in a war sense - for the worst. And if that mobilisation was half-hearted (and largely bungled) prior to 29th March, it's being done in earnest now. As usual, somewhat too late - but then that's the British way. We muddle through, don't we?

It's very, very like being put on a war footing. And I'm convinced that deep down many Brits will be relishing this showdown with Europe. I don't mean that anyone wants emotions to run high and bullets to fly. Or even to man the beaches with fixed bayonets. No, this is a psychological thing, about restoring the natural position of an island nation. Us here, them over there on the continent, and a good stretch of briny in between.

Away, then, with the fudging and the fiction! We haven't really been bosom pals and equals, have we? Let honesty prevail, even if it means a series of big adjustments at home. Geographically we are most certainly part of Europe - and inescapable consequences flow from that - but we cannot be part of Europe's Federal Dream. Instead we are going to assert our right to be a friendly, but independent, offshore state.

Can't you imagine many thinking like this, even if they are not saying so in public? Secret flag-wavers all.

And so long as we keep cool heads and do some proper planning for the future, I for one feel pretty chipper about the prospect of running our own affairs, and plotting our own course, and being ingenious and creative about such things as where our fresh fruit and vegetables will now come from. That was what I voted for, back in 2016, in the Brexit Referendum. A managed detachment from a version of Europe that I didn't want. A refocus on what this country does best, on self-reliance, on fresh ideas and new inventions. Suits me fine.

One day soon, as a retired Civil Servant with an unblemished record as a worthy citizen, I expect to be interviewed for a position on the newly-formed local Food and Fuel Committee. I will accept. It will ensure that I get a generous diesel ration to run my car, and meat and fish to eat. And by serving on this Committee, I will avoid having to turn up for the local Mum's Army drills and parades. Quite possibly I'll apply for a grant to build a poly-tunnel in my back garden, so that I can grow a nice selection of vegetables and fruit all year round. And with the countryside on my doorstep, a bit of discreet poaching? Who knows...