Thursday, 15 September 2016

Gloves fit for a baroness

At the moment my rear garden looks like this:


To tell the truth, that shot was taken on 16th August, but there has been little further growth since then because of the hot weather and very little rain. I want to get it all in a good state by the end of autumn, meaning that a lot of shrub-clipping and general clearance needs to take place. I want to extend the lawned area anyway.

The priority is the left side in the view, because Kevin next door wants to get at his fencing, and lift a panel out so that he can paint the back of a posh shed he erected for Jackie in the early summer. He perfectly understands that physically I can't do it on my own, so he has offered to give me three days' labour in mid-October, as soon as I am back from my forthcoming holiday. I shall of course be helping, although I imagine my role will chiefly be to carry away whatever he cuts down or lops off.

I have hired a skip. We will need it, because there's an awful lot of dense shrubbery and ground cover here, including some brambles. I don't know about you, but I hate tangling with brambles, roses, nettles, or anything that can sting or stab. Brambles, with their trailing stalks, are a nightmare to deal with without getting hurt. I decided that it was time to get myself some thick leather gardening gloves of really good quality. So I went out and bought these at one of the nearby garden centres:


As you can see, not just gloves, but a pair of gauntlets too. They cost £31 altogether, which I'm sure many will consider an outrageous price to pay. But hey, I want proper protection when gingerly handling those spiky stems! The gloves will keep the dainty Melford hands safe, and the gauntlets will ensure that the beautiful and shapely Melford forearms won't get lacerated by cruel, revengeful barbs.


And they do look good, don't they? Gloves fit for a baroness. They'll go perfectly with my long-sleeved gardening gown, satin shoes, train, jewelled girdle and tiara.

Of course, my new gloves and gauntlets won't stay looking brand new, but I intend to look after them, and hopefully these rather posh and expensive accessories won't go the way of many generations of el cheapo gardening gloves I've bought in the past.

To convey stuff from my rear garden to the skip on my drive, I already have a new wheelbarrow, seen here:


So I'm all set. I hope Kevin will be impressed at my commitment to the task ahead.