Mission Impossible: Kettle Quest

How difficult can it be to buy another kitchen kettle, when the old one dies? I hadn't realised the bother it would be.

I'd been using a Prestige electric kettle that I originally bought at Sainsbury's in Newport, South Wales in August 2011. It had cost £29, quite a lot for 2011, at least if you simply wanted an ordinary kitchen kettle. But it wasn't for the kitchen in the house. I bought it for the caravan. I'd taken to using the kettle there for all my hot-water needs, personal washing included, and so a powerful home-sized kettle seemed just the thing. Here it is in a couple of shots taken late in June 2013, when I was pitched in the Lake District on my way home from Scotland. I'd just boiled the water needed to hand-wash some knickers. It was ready in a jiffy. (Don't ask what - or who - the red knickers were for)

That Prestige kettle was a good one. The only downside was its nondescript colour - beige and browny-black. But of course it drew a lot of current, and for nearly two years had been putting a strain on the consumer unit, hidden away in the caravan wardrobe, and doubtless begging for mercy. 

A couple of days later, while still in the Lake District, my electrics suddenly went kaput. What had gone wrong? I went to the Caravan Club site reception and almost burst into tears. I felt helpless and much too far from home in Sussex. The Club site staff clustered around, and tested my electrics. It looked like a serious mishap. I thought of melted wiring - and huge expense - but my immediate concern was being without any mains electricity. I relied on that for several things, including electric heating (important because it had turned cold and wet), although I could turn to gas heating if need be. But mains electricity was vital for charging up my phone and laptop every day, both of them heavily used. I still had battery power for basic lighting. And I had gas for cooking. I could also use gas to boil water, with a rather retro standby gas-hob kettle:

This handsome beast whistled when boiled, and was therefore fun to use, but it used up my propane faster than I liked. (But I still keep it in the caravan - you never know when it might be needed) 

Once home, after that worrying and very inconvenient mains power failure, I rushed the caravan into my local dealer's workshop, fearing the worst. But it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The service manager soon told me what had happened: I'd blown a switch in the consumer unit. And that was all. No looms of wiring had to be replaced. Phew! He still told me off - we'd known each other for years, so I didn't mind - explaining that the miniature consumer unit in my caravan 'wasn't man enough' to cope with large current flows. I should have used a smaller and less powerful travel kettle all along. 

I learned my lesson! I quickly bought this little kettle:

It lasted quite a while. But all travel kettles are lightweight affairs and will stop working after three or four years if regularly worked hard. There have been two replacements since. 

Meanwhile - back home - I'd been using this shiny Russell Hobbs kettle, and continued with it until early 2017. The Prestige one was put away as a spare. Here are shots of the Russell-Hobbs kettle in 2015 and 2016:

I liked that style of kettle very much. But eventually, after years of service, it died. The local water supply in Sussex leads to rapid scaling from all the chalk in the Downs, which in turn means the heating element in the kettle has to work ever harder, and at some point it gives up. That happened by January 2017. So I dug out the Prestige kettle, and now put it to its proper use. Here it is in 2017, 2021 and late 2022:

The beige Prestige kettle was so visually unremarkable that it never merited a special photo-shoot. It only appeared in general shots of my kitchen, or in the background when shooting more interesting things, such as my Ruark R1 radio. Although its appearance bored me, it did its job pretty well. Then a couple of weeks ago it too fell victim to the Morbid Sussex Kettle Disease. Time for a new kettle! Meanwhile, I raided the caravan for the shiny gas-hob kettle, and used that, discovering at once that reserving one of my four gas hobs for boiling water was highly inconvenient if attempting to cook an evening meal at the same time. I must buy a new electric kettle next day, which happened to be a Sunday.

I decided to look for something altogether nicer. Could John Lewis at Home in Horsham provide? So here I was, around midday on that Sunday, in the lift at John Lewis, looking grimly confident that I'd be able to buy a posh new kettle:

But John Lewis didn't have any cheap kettles! The only ones on display were hideously expensive:

I wasn't going to pay £100+ for a kettle! So, with the clock now ticking, I drove on to Hookwood, near Gatwick Airport, to see what the big Tesco Extra store there might have. Not a great range, as it turned out. Perhaps no store nowadays carried a big range of goods, with online shopping so prevalent. But there was a grey plastic kettle by Tower that looked OK at £30. The best of an indifferent bunch of mundane kettles. I bought that.

Back home, I felt it would be good enough. Its handle was comfortable, a good sign.

I filled it up and switched it on. You had to push down that little lever under the handle. It moved, but wouldn't stay down, and so switched itself off immediately. Things that I buy usually work well for me. I couldn't believe it might be faulty. Maybe there was some special finger or wrist technique I had to practice and master? Perhaps some incantation to be uttered? Or some tune I had to whistle? I consulted the instructions, was none the wiser. 

Reluctantly I gave up, and very carefully repacked the kettle in its box. It would have to be taken back to Tesco for a refund. Something for next day, after a second evening without a working electric kettle. I cooked something simple that didn't require four gas hobs. 

Next morning - Monday - I drove to a closer Tesco Extra store, and joined a dispiritingly long queue of customers with something to discuss at the Customer Services counter. I chatted with the lady just in front of me to pass the time. It was almost my turn to be served, when I discovered that I'd left my bag - with the sales receipt in it - back in the car. Oh no! With a sigh I went back to Fiona, retrieved my bag, and braced myself for another long wait to be served, for of course I'd lost my place in the Customer Services queue. What a mission this was all turning out to be, just to buy a kettle.

However, this time the queue moved faster. Soon I was explaining how the kettle was faulty, and asking for a refund. There were no difficulties. I still needed a new kettle, and keen to get it that day. The Customer Services lady suggested the Next store, close by on the same retail estate. I never went to Next - no particular reason - but thought it worth a look now. And finally I saw what I really wanted: a colourful kitchen kettle that was decidedly more attractive and upmarket than the dull offerings at Tesco. The Next Yellow Kettle. £45, so not exactly inexpensive; but a snip compared to the posh objets d'art at John Lewis.

Here's the unpacking at home, and its first use to make a well-earned cuppa.

In a perfect world I'd want a brighter yellow, but that would be my only cavil. Its lemony yellow still chimed pretty well with all the other yellow accents scattered around my kitchen, such as that mug. It had a 3,000W element, and boiled the water fast. The handle was comfortable, the thing felt balanced in my grip, and it poured well too. 

So, mission accomplished, and I'm very content!

It's funny how you take things like kettles for granted. But they are indispensable. I think it's silly to waste money on a very fancy kettle, unless it's completely won your heart. But I also now think that it's worth spending a bit more - in this case £45 rather than £30 - to secure something that will not only do the job well, but improves the look of your kitchen.