The Coronation is tomorrow. I don't live in London. Do I then watch it all on TV?
As it happens, watching this event is not simply a question of turning the TV on and paying attention at the best moments. I now have no way of receiving the kind of signal you get from a satellite dish or an aerial. All I can do is tether my laptop to my phone, and stream the thing using 4G. That does work fine, except that it's a rigmarole (albeit a small one) to set up, and any viewing will eat into my monthly data allowance (although it would take several hours to make a serious dent in the 160GB available).
The question is really whether I want to devote time to seeing a royal ceremony.
I ought to say yes. I think the monarchy is a Good Thing, important to the collective psychological health of England (I'm uncertain about Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and other territories which presently have Charles as their ultimate and legal Head of State). I don't want this country to ever become a republic, with an elected Head of State, because that would bring in a presidential system and create the possibility of a perpetual dictatorship if ever the 'democratic process' became corrupted, as it has in so many parts of the world. Nor do I want to see an institution that has existed for centuries binned as if it had no value. So I do wish Charles and Camilla well, as custodians of a useful and beneficial institution that is a fundamental part of England's soul and England's standing in the world.
Many people of course would never regard the monarchy as a 'beneficial institution'. They see it as a waste of money, or an outmoded encumbrance, getting in the way of a properly democratic state.
Others are envious of royalty's wealth and privilege, and don't see that the members of the Royal Family are prisoners of protocol, with no freedom to do what they please; tied to a demanding job they can never retire from. I wouldn't want to join them. I haven't got what it takes. The luxury, the glamour, and all the privileges - none of that is any inducement to me. I wouldn't want it. I'd turn it down. I'd miss my tidy little life too much. I'd miss my total freedom, and my anonymity. I'm realistic enough to see that if - inconceivably - a royal connection were ever offered, I'd be right and sensible to say no. This doesn't mean I dislike the Royal Family. Not at all. I think the active members do a great job as ambassadors and influencers, and I admire anyone who - with open eyes - marries into that, embraces the role, and copes well. Some do, some don't. Let the ones who succeed, and can stand such an artificial existence, enjoy all the good things they can get out of it. I don't mind that some of my income tax pays for it. I regard maintaining the Royal Family in much the same light as maintaining effective armed forces, national infrastructure such as motorways, railways and power stations, and things like the BBC and the major museums and art galleries. They are all necessary. Collectively they define what this country is all about. And so again, I wish Charles and Camilla well, as the people heading up all this. Their eventual successors also. It's a big responsibility.
But do I want to pay homage by watching the Coronation? After all, I can signal my goodwill in other ways, by this post for instance.
I've never been one for happily doing what is expected. I may have complied in the past, but in recent years I've baulked at following any mass trend, and doing what everyone else is doing. That, I think, sets quite enough precedent for not switching on my laptop, but instead firing up Fiona, and driving off somewhere with my camera.
What if it's raining, making it pointless to go out? Well, if that's how it is, then maybe I will after all give the Coronation some attention. Although if I'm honest, chiefly to get good shots of the laptop screen - to secure a personal photographic record of the event as an historian, rather than as a mere voyeur wallowing in the spectacle of gorgeous pageantry.
One thing however that disturbs me about the Coronation is that 'oath of allegiance'. Who dreamed that up? I hope it won't be an embarrassing flop. If so, I don't want to watch.
