Poohsticks in Beer

No, not a post about how to add extra flavour to an alcoholic beverage. I mean the game made famous by Winnie-the-Pooh, a fictional bear (of little brain) in A A Milne's 1928 children's story The House at Pooh Corner. The game is called Poohsticks.

I'm afraid the rather daft (though some would say profound) adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends did not form part of my juvenile reading. I gravitated much more to Beatrix Potter's twee creatures, and to the world of Rupert Bear. Nevertheless I was aware of Winnie-the-Pooh's existence, and I have, since then, seen enough clips of the Disney cartoon to understand - to some extent - what the appeal might be, although I remain no convert. Personally, I think Rupert Bear, certainly as illustrated in the Christmas annuals of the 1950s, takes all prizes.

Anyway, Pooh found a way of making a game from dropping things that would float from a footbridge into a stream. All you do is this. You - and a friend - both drop a recognisable stick into flowing water on one side of the bridge, then rush over to the other side, to see which stick floats into view first, and that stick wins, entitling the owner to whatever accolade has been agreed on in advance. 

It's such a simple game. All you need are two similar sticks (that you can however tell apart), a stretch of flowing water, an agreed spot from which to simultaneously drop them, and some sort of 'finishing line', to determine which stick got there first. A bit like the Grand National by other means. The drop must be a simple act of release, letting gravity do what gravity will. Throwing, spinning, and flicking are not allowed. So the game is a great leveller, as even the most experienced and seasoned Poohsticks participant is forbidden to do anything that might impart some cunning extra motion to the stick that could affect how it enters the water, or how it behaves while floating. 

I suppose it is permitted to kiss one's stick beforehand (ugh), or whisper exhortations to it (such as 'Go, baby, go'), or utter the words to some spell or incantation. Although a moment's rational thought will establish that no kiss, exhortation or go-faster spell can make the slightest difference. 

If the participants both perform a fair drop, it's all down to how the stick behaves in the rushing water, and whether turbulence and flow-rate will help or hinder. The outcome must of course mostly be a matter of chance. I do see however how the right choice of stick could have an influence. Maybe champion Poohstickers know precisely what a winning stick should look like, and, given a free hand, will go for that shape and avoid a stick that they know won't get pushed along so fast by the water. As ever, if you really study your subject, it will repay you handsomely. Of course, an alert opponent might still object, citing Rule 29 (4) (c) of Poohsticks, the subsection on unusual Stick Shapes. I'm sure 'Poohsticks lawyers' abound.  

Nevertheless, it all sounds like a thrilling pastime. But in truth I've never actually seen anybody playing a proper game of Poohsticks. 

Until now. 

I was visiting the picturesque and scenic seaside fishing village (or notorious tourist trap) of Beer. The road that goes down to the shore there becomes steep at its seaward end, and the water running in a gutter along one side of it picks up a lot of speed, eventually turning into a veritable torrent before disappearing into a hole. Over the hole is a grating - there no doubt to prevent hapless screaming visitors disappearing into a watery oubliette. Anything floating on the torrent will end up on top of the grating, thrown there by the water. 

Well, coming up off the shingle beach, I saw a family ahead playing Poohsticks.

There was also a small child in the party, but hidden by the man's legs. One of the sticks was well in the lead, and the woman closest to me was pointing to it. I'm not sure who won, but the sticks ended up side-by-side on the grating.

I'm guessing that the bigger stick took an early lead, having more surface area for the water to push against. But I don't know for sure. It was certainly a fine place to play Poohsticks though. In fact it could easily be that the local council had Poohsticks in mind when designing that gutter for the water. Almost certainly. 

Beer is of course the butt of many a joke about drinking beer - a favourite West Country pastime, I'll warrant - and one of the pubs (named, of course, The Barrel of Beer) sold its own T shirts, which looked like this:

I didn't go in and enquire. The place was full of loud people drinking beer. They might have laughed like pirates if I'd asked for a gin and tonic.