Tuesday 21 August 2018

Ely Cathedral - lofty architecture, but you do get the hard sell

Up to 14th June, I'd been to see many of the cathedrals in England and Wales. It made quite a long list:

Truro
Exeter
Wells
Salisbury
Winchester
Chichester
Guildford
Rochester
Canterbury
St David's
Gloucester
Hereford
Worcester
Peterborough
Norwich
Lincoln
York (the Minster)
Durham
Newcastle

There were, however, some glaring omissions. One of them was Ely in Cambridgeshire. But I rectified that on 15th June.

I'd driven all the way from Stamford in Lincolnshire, lunching at March on the way. But by the time I reached Ely, it was mid-afternoon and I was in the mood for some tea and cake. But that could wait. I wanted to view the cathedral first. It was one of England's oldest (founded in the year 673) and finest. In particular, it possessed an unusual 'lantern tower' in the middle (dating from 1342), and I wondered what that might look like from inside and underneath.

Externally, the cathedral was splendid to contemplate.


There was an ancient redbrick school next door, and on the lawn some kind of photo-shoot going on. Students in their prom outfits, I thought.


The welcome board. That's me reflected.


Let's go in. Vast doors with elaborate ironwork...


...and inside, an astonishingly high and elegant space.


This was as far as one could get without buying a ticket. I joined the queue, phone at the ready (I was sure they would do contactless payments). Gosh, what a long time it was taking! When my turn came, I found out why. The lady at the desk wouldn't accept a simple request for a straightforward senior adult ticket. She insisted on firing a series of questions at me.

'One adult ticket, with an age concession please.'
'There's a Tower Tour. Would you like to go on that? Admission to include a Tower Tour costs £16.50, but with a concession it's only £13.50.'
'No, thank you.'
'There's a Stained Glass Window Museum. Would you like to see that? Admission to include the Museum costs £13.00, but with a concession it's only £9.00.'
'No, thank you.'
'You can purchase a Total Experience ticket, which includes both the Tower Tour and the Stained Glass Window Museum. It's £19.50 altogether, but you still get the age concession, and that brings the price down to only £16.00.'
'Really, no thank you. I've only got a limited time to see the Cathedral, and I'd overrun if I went on the Tour or saw the Museum.' 
'So it's just the basic admission ticket?'
'Yes, that's all I want. Perhaps another time for those other things.'
'Would you like to join a Guided Tour, which will explain the architecture and all the monuments? It's very good.'
'No, thank you.'
'Would you like a guide book then?'
'No.'
'If you're a UK taxpayer, would you like to consider a donation to the Cathedral, which - being a charity - can claim the tax back under the Gift Aid scheme? You only have to fill in this simple form.' 
'I'm not a UK taxpayer,' I lied. I was getting fed up with this interrogation!

The lady looked at me sternly, making it perfectly clear what she thought about mean people who were tax dodgers, and not prepared to give the Cathedral proper time, attention and money. 

Perhaps she put me down as another irritating cost-conscious coach-holiday tourist with an hour to fill. And chiefly interested in her next cup of tea and slice of cake. I didn't like to mention that I would indeed be patronising the Cathedral café later on, after taking the best photos I could. 

With a sigh she gave up and finally asked me to pay the £6.00 for admission. It would have been £9.00 without the age concession, and therefore the discount was a pretty generous £3.00 (a third of the full cost). I was getting in on the cheap. I was damned sure she disapproved of using Google Pay on my smartphone. The 'Ding!' as the payment went through failed to bring joy to her day: she was not amused. 

Still, having paid, it was evident that anyone with a camera could blast away to their heart's content. The exact reverse of the situation at Durham Cathedral, in fact, where entry was free but all photography was forbidden. I didn't mind paying a reasonable admission charge, if I could take pictures.  

What a treat this cathedral was for a person wanting pictures! Here's a sample. The soaring columns, arches, fan-vaulting and ultra-high ceiling kept drawing my eyes upward.


How small the people seemed!


Of course, the central tower and lantern stole the show. They were magnificent. Amazing what was possible in 1342.


Breathtaking. It was really hard to wrench the eyes away, and down to ground level. Actually, there wasn't a lot to see near the floor. By and large, the monuments weren't outstanding. There was however this bored gentleman, whose expression seemed rather disappointed. He'd clearly expected a livelier time in heaven.


The Latin inscription Virtutis praemium virtus meant - roughly - Manly excellence is the reward of a virtuous life. Judging by his glum expression, I think he was hoping to enjoy more in heaven than just 'manly excellence'. Something more on the lines of wine, gambling, music, dancing girls, and plenty of laughs. But naturally those things are in short supply up there. 

There were modern artworks as well. Such as this, on a wall near the entrance. It's not a scimitar. I think it's a stylised 'Road to Calvary'. 


There was also this, meant to be 'Mary Magdelene Recognises Jesus' in a surprise encounter after he'd been crucified, entombed, and mourned for being dead. Here he was, alive again - although shortly to depart for heaven.


It doesn't work for me. It's too abstract. And why are their arms waving about like that? It suggests confusion, misunderstanding, contention. A naturalistic rendition - with a revived, haloed, properly-robed Jesus, gravely smiling and holding Mary's hands reassuringly - would, for me, have depicted the incident (and its emotional side) so much better.  

I really was time-limited, in the sense that I wanted to get to the Cathedral café before it closed. I was in time, and stoked up on this:


It was important that I refreshed myself for the long and convoluted cross-country journey back to Stamford. I'd be hitting the first of the afternoon rush-hour traffic, and had to take a devious route north-westwards to avoid the worst of it. I managed to, via St Ives, Sawtry and Oundle. Oundle seemed very pretty - next time that I'm staying in the area, I'll go there again and take a closer look.

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