Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Taking a little testosterone

It seems weird to me that, having done so much to eliminate excess testosterone from their bodies, some post-op women then decide to add some back. It's done so that one's libido is active enough to want plenty of sex, and of course to reach orgasm without difficulty. It's perfectly official. You go to your GP, explain matters, and get a testosterone preparation on prescription. Then you go to it.

It's weird to me because I'm actually very proud of the fact that my own testosterone level is so low. It seems like a most noteworthy achievement. An unwanted hormone all but expunged without trace. I want that level low so that the bad aspects of testosterone - loss of feminine shapeliness, muscle gain, body hair growth, scalp hair loss, various life-shortening effects, and a tendency to aggression - remain banished from my life.

Of course, there's a price: I am simply not geared up for sex. Not even looking for it. And if I were mildly in the mood, I doubt whether I would (or could) get any satisfaction from it. The flame of desire (and love too) is not quite out, but it's burning very low. I prefer serene contentment and a calm outlook to the frantic pleasures of an active sex life. I don't want to be tugged in all directions by instant desire. Nor torn apart by desire not returned. Nor hurt by a love affair that flares up gloriously, but ends horribly - and possibly dangerously.

But some women do. In fact I think I'm in a minority. I've come across several women who have expressed a great keenness to get some sex for themselves, and if possible love as well. It seems quite general for people in my position to want an intimate partner to share the rest of their life with. Well, there's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's absolutely the norm. Just don't accuse me of unorthodoxy or oddness if I prefer something different.

Back in 2011, some months after my surgery - which I paid for myself remember - a pre-op woman was trying to get the lowdown on how sex was for me now. She was really eager to find out. And she was perplexed as to why I hadn't had any, why I hadn't at least experimented. And when I said that I had no plans at all to get the old bedsprings creaking with anyone, she asked me bluntly what had been the point of my surgery?

It took me aback, because the point of my surgery was to give me an authentic appearance, and to satisfy a vital psychological need. I thought that did not have to be explained. Yes, the ability to have sex exactly as a woman could was a bonus, but not the driving purpose. In fact I remain to this day happily unravished.

But each to their own. I'm not a prude. If anybody in my circle wants to take testosterone and expose themselves to uncontrollable urges, then there will be no tut-tutting from this quarter. I really hope you enjoy yourself. Why not? I also hope you understand the risks and the possible drawbacks. Good luck to you. Count me out, though, if you want me to join in!

1 comment:

  1. I can't imagine anything worse than being pulled hither and yon by irrational and uncontrollable urges. Urges which are the cause of great pain and suffering to untold millions and I am not referring to those with those urges but to the victims of a horribly intimate crime from which many never recover...

    Interesting that something which can cause extreme hurt can also give great pleasure. My libido has always been almost unmeasurable but the joy of giving pleasure and being that close and intimate with a loving human being was priceless. Having said that my urge then as now has been so low that I have never gone out seeking intimate pleasure and really enjoy a life with absolutely no distractions in that direction.

    I sometimes wonder how more active people would react if all those distractions vanished from their lives...

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