Oh dear. I've just heard that the husband of one of my female cousins 'can't handle' a pre-Christmas meetup with me. And so an encounter I was looking forward to will be cancelled so that this man's comfort will be preserved.
It is commonly the case that men who consider themselves to be particularly masculine find it difficult to cope with trans women. I can understand how a trans woman could be a problem for a macho man who would ordinarily enjoy female company, and yet can't get past a trans woman's perceived 'male origin'. But I have no idea what the precise problem is here.
The man concerned was very civil to me when we last met two years ago at a family funeral, but we said little. I suppose he was embarrassed how I looked, which was not surprising as my appearance was still evolving. He might think that I'm still the same as I was then. But even if he realises that my appearance and manner must have improved, there could be a problem - that little issue of his body reacting to strong female signals while his mind pulls sharply the other way. If that's how it is, then he'd naturally want to avoid a meeting.
But I don't really know, and I won't find out if he keeps his distance. The pity of it is that while he feels this way it inhibits my opportunities of seeing his wife, my cousin. The situation is much the same with my step-daughter: a particularly masculine husband who can't help feeling uncomfortable. I don't know how to tackle this. There is certainly no solution if a perpetual standoff is kept up.
It's really quite a shock to be reminded that the world is not composed solely of supportive friends, accepting neighbours, and unconcerned strangers. There are people out there who can't embrace you, either literally or as a concept. And they feel they have good reasons. But sadly their attitude achieves only alienation and unhappiness.