Grrrrr. I knew this would happen. In the last day or two Google has become slow and buggy, and it's because of the Olympic Games starting in London.
The servers are all getting clogged up with vastly increased traffic. When I heard that the mobile phone companies expected breaking-point pressure on their airtime capacity, and welcomed people using wi-fi as an alternative if they wanted to stream stuff to their mobile screens, it became utterly predictable that the Internet would choke up. It's bad enough that TV is dominated by Olympic events. It's doubly aggravating that computer services will also suffer from this plague. I blame the ancient Greeks as well. They should have known better.
Really, if you're simply not interested in sport, you are likely to get seriously hacked off by all this medal- and money-driven frenzy. I am personally going to explode with irritation if I'm not careful, and it's not hormonal. 'Look' (I'd like to say to any to anyone DARING to ring my doorbell, to sign me up for Sky Sports or whatever), 'I'm FED UP with all this. I DON'T CARE if Great Britain wins every gold medal going, or if all previous attendance and income records are vastly exceeded. It's a nuisance and a bore. And if you think I want to sign up to WATCH any of it, you are greatly mistaken and risking my simmering wrath, which I assure you is deadly at twenty paces. GO AWAY.' Same to anyone plugging any aspect whatever connected with the sporting activities that may spin off these Games. Watch out: don't push me too far.
If you have got the drift, that I am not even mildly intrigued by the circus going on, then you'd be spot on. As for buying tickets, well, what do you think?
I might take a retrospective interest in it as a social phenomenon. An historian's view. And I hope it does prove to be a huge boost to the government's Economic Recovery Plan. But no doubt it will really be just a cynical money-making exercise full of fraud and personal pocket-lining and every kind of scandal - just wait and see.
The final Closure Event might be worth a look because of the fireworks, but I probably won't make a big effort to sit down and view it. I'm not knocking the athletes' personal ambitions, but they can't make me share their competitiveness, nor their tears if they lose by three-hundreds of a second. And if they behave badly, they can't expect any sympathy and support from me. Sports people are not divine. If they fall, they deserve the same censure an ordinary person would get.
The slightly gimmicky countrywide torch-bearing is now over. Did it really make the country as a whole feel they were part of the Games? Quite possibly it did. I didn't get to see any of the torch-bearers, but I think it might have been a bit like witnessing a beacon being lit for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee: the same ignition of community spirit. A little more more stage-managed perhaps, with more crowd-control, but still tapping into local feeling. Bearing a torch might even have had more to do with the pure ethos of the Games than the sporting contests themselves. Yes, maybe I missed something there. I nearly got in the way of a torch-bearer when threading my way through the middle of Cirencester, with the caravan in tow, but that doesn't count.
Despite my antipathy for the Games, one question bothers me. What would I have done if approached to be a torch-bearer? For my past services as the Village Tranny perhaps, or in recognition of my Contributions To Blogging? Would I have refused, or would I have simpered with delight, and done my hundred-yard dash for Mid Sussex? The big scene from Chariots of Fire, all over again. Vangelis playing in the air. Hmmmm.