Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Dilation update, with a digression into vibrators

Another thing that will happen on 1 March is that my dilation regime will change again. I will now need to dilate only once a week, or optionally twice a week.

At the moment I am still dilating once a day, which is not always easy to fit into what I want to do, even though the process is simple, and from beginning to end only takes up only forty minutes of my time. That's forty minutes for the bedroom setup, a pre-wash, dry off, twenty minutes with a dilator inserted, cleanup for the dilator, a douche and another wash, dry off, cleanup for the douche, put away the kit, and finally straighten the bed. Actually, that's a fair old rigmarole! But now I can dispense with it five days out of seven.

Although once a week will be fine, I'd like to stay in touch with my nether bits at least twice a week, so I'm thinking that Tuesdays and Saturdays will become my normal Dilation Days, these already being the days on which I change my hormone patch. That's concentrating all 'medical' stuff into two days of the week then. But of course, in practice any two days will do for dilation. If, for instance, I was towing my caravan home on a Tuesday, needed to make an early start, didn't expect to be home and unpacked until the evening, and expected to feel pretty tired by then, I'd probably postpone dilation to next day. I've now got that flexibility.

I'm still very happy with Mungo (that's the very thick dilator), but nowadays I alternate him with Big Jim (that's the not-so-thick dilator). This is so that I can have one dilator for maintaining length (Big Jim) and one for maintaining width (Mungo). Actually, I doubt whether Big Jim does anything that Mungo doesn't do, but you never know.

One or two of my friends have purchased vibrators, and generally find these useful, though not primarily as dilators. Apparently the best advice with vibrators is to avoid anything too large, and go instead for simple versions that are easy to insert in the vagina, and maybe very small ones for clitoral stimulation. A pleasant pastel colour and a nice-to-touch surface coating are also important.

What many people initially go for - wasting money - is a huge monster vibrator in shiny red plastic, filled with circulating ball bearings. Presumably the way it moves when activated is meant to simulate a rampant and throbbing male member, complete with bulging veins fit to burst. These oversize vibrators are invariably fitted with a large and aggressive rabbit that resembles a lobster claw feeling for prey to tear apart. I have seen these things, and have it from the horse's mouth that this kind of vibrator is heavy and thoroughly artificial and a complete turnoff. They are not designed with post-op trans women in mind. They assume a deep vagina, and if you haven't got one deep enough the rabbit can't reach your clitoris, merely clawing thin air in a threatening fashion. Nor is the average post-op clitoris the right shape or size. My own is rather peanut-like, and if that rabbit could ever reach, it would massacre the poor thing rather than sensually rubbing the spaces on either side.

So I won't be investing in a jumbo rabbit-enabled vibrator. Something much smaller and nicer one day, perhaps, but it's hardly a big priority. Besides, what are fingers for?


  1. Too much information springs to mind here Lucy. I remember when I could stop the daily routine and switch to once a week. After a while even that becomes a chore, so much so that I do not dilate anymore. I know, I know, the vagina will shrink but in actual fact I couldn't care less. It doesn't get used for sex anyway these days. Once in a while I will try with the dilator but give up on the idea as it hurts too much. I do not have an interest in sex being the type of person that can take it or leave it. I bought one of those Rabbit vibrators which did work but I got bored with it! Sex with men was good but it didn't last and I got fed up with it anyhow. Nowadays I prefer a bowl of Scouse....LOL

    Shirley Anne xxx

  2. I still see posts on topics like this as a useful resource for trans women in general. I always make it clear that it's my own take.

    Those immediately post-op will come up against the tyranny of post-op dilation. They might like to know that it eventually gets less of a hassle. Be honest: how many women are still blogging about their dilation experiences one year after the op? I don't know of anyone at all. Except me. That's part of my justification.

    As for vibrators, it's a related subject I suppose! I can easily see that if sex isn't all that dominant in your life, one might get bored with these gadgets.


  3. Oh sweetheart you don't have to justify what you write. Don't read too much into what I said about too much information. I had my op in Oct 2002 and stayed with dilating until eighteen months ago. I couldn't see the point in doing it any longer now that I am not sexually active. I went through a phase of having intercourse but gave up for a couple of reasons, one of those reasons was I was bored with it all. I won't say what the other reasons were but they were not to do with my health or my vagina. When I was engaged in sex I really enjoyed it, while it lasted...LOL. I have never had a climax simply because no-one could last the course! I would happily enjoy intercourse or other vaginal stimulation for hours on end when I was active but it had to be someone else doing it, I was never into self-masturbation. Now I am revealing too much information aren't I? Yes, I'm done with sex or having things pushed into my nether regions! Smiles

    Shirley Anne xxx


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