Thursday, 10 November 2011


Over on Angie's Aspirations is a post about Nicola and Meg, who recently featured in a sympathetic Daily Mirror article about how they successfully managed their changed relationship when the hitherto 'male' partner (Nicki) needed to become her true self. Now they have appeared on breakfast TV, reinforcing the message that some couples do make it, and remain happy together, despite the wife definitely not being lesbian.

I have met Nicola, but not Meg, so I can't say anything first-hand about their life together, but I do applaud their public endeavours. They are not a dysfunctional pair of warring individuals, but a united and articulate partnership, and keen to place the Trans Issue right in front of the country on prime time TV. This can only help to familiarise people with the basic ordinariness and normality and reasonableness of day to day living when a trans person has loyal and meaningful support from her partner. It's not a shocking tale at all, but an inspirational one. And it should make many, many people think.

It's tempting to add 'Too late for me', but that would be negative and detract from the upbeat effect of what Nicola and Meg and others like them are doing. It's becoming less unusual to find trans persons on serious programmes. There was for instance a youngish-sounding FTM person on Radio 4 last night (on Four Thought) who had the additional issue of being Jewish and wanting to become prominent in Jewish religious services. He seemed fearsomely intelligent and clear-thinking, yet had realism and humour. And the My Transsexual Summer series is apparently opening eyes in a good way.

Dare we hope that the media is at last ready to rebrand trans people as notable heroes and heroines in a life story that everybody has a role in?


  1. Yes, I watched it and enjoyed it too, even though it did bring back some painful memories to me. I admit to feeling a momentary little flash of jealousy.

    Having said that, there is no way I would ever consider a return to my own failed marriage. There were too many other issues between us.

    So best just accept that what's done is done, and move on.


  2. Well Lucy, it is a step in the right direction. We know that we are just ordinary people leading pretty much ordinary lives so anything that promotes that fact has got to be welcome.
    Some of the media are beginning to see sense but there are still some journalists (and presumably their editors) who write degrading and derogatory remarks in their columns. I see this as their own personal beliefs and attitudes and they should not be allowed to voice those opinions but should forward an unbiased view. It can only get better as more people begin to understand that we are not ogres, child molesters, freaks, sub-normal, abnormal or anything else but just human beings like the rest.

    Shirley Anne xxx

  3. Hi Lucy!

    I'm glad you enjoyed our appearance. Meg and I spent many long phone conversations with the producers to make sure that the questions and everything were respectful but at the same time honest.

    Yes, we both feel it is high time that couples with one(or more) trans members receive some attention and that proper recognition and resources are made available to support the spouses.


  4. Hello Lucy
    I hear the 'its too late for me', and I feel for you. We have had a lot of feedback from the TV show, and some of the stories we have heard would break your heart - and theyre all 'too late'.
    We can't turn back the clock; we can't fix what's past. We may be able to help prevent some of the pain in the future, and that's our aim.


  5. Hi Lucy,

    Long time no speak ;-)
    I hope you are well?

    I just thought you might like to see an update interview/mini-documentary that we did here in the US.



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