By now I know - or know of - at least half a dozen couples who are made up of a trans female husband plus a natal female wife. Mostly I haven't met the wife, but the possibility exists for anytime in the future, whether by design or accident. I could be faced with 'here she is now, let me introduce you' at very short notice. And it's a daunting prospect, much more challenging than meeting a potential partner or lover on a date, which seems a casual and inconsequential thing by comparison.
I try to put myself in the wife's place. I imagine her thinking like this.
Wife: 'My husband is fading, or at least changing, and with that our relationship and our whole future. Why is this happening? Because of a condition that has flared up and taken my husband over, and seems to be the most important thing in his universe, despite protestations and reassurances that it isn't so. And now this. I'm being asked to meet someone just like my husband. OK, she's not an embarrassing parody of a woman; in fact she's pleasant, sensible, engaging, has a nice voice, nice hair, has made herself look almost pretty, and is dressed quietly and tastefully. She's very natural, and I'd be happy to meet her in the street, just by myself. But not here in my home. Not with my husband present. She's living proof that he can be so transformed that the old person is totally lost. I like her, but I fear her too, and she's definitely not the sort of person I want my husband to see, because she'll just give him hope.'
I've no idea whether any wife actually has these thoughts, but what if I'm guessing correctly? You can see why meeting the other half fills me with some anxiety. Don't get me wrong: I'm in no danger myself. All might very well be smiles and laughter and good manners. But only on the surface. At a deeper level, an introduction to me could simply make matters worse. I'd be an agent of destruction.
I really do want to find that I'm completely wrong here, because I'd absolutely love to meet the wife and listen to her side of things.