Friday, 8 April 2011

Lucy models swimwear! Hmmmm.

Today I decided that I simply must now kit myself out with credible beachwear. The sun was glorious again, and my conservatory was the place to get a tan - if suitably attired. I suppose that in the privacy of my own home - and it really is private - I could sunbathe in my underwear, or even in the nude, but I am extending my convalescent range to nearby bits of coast, and clearly some decent female beachwear was indicated. I didn't have any, because of course up till now there hasn't been any point buying - say - a bikini when you were still sporting the wrong type of private parts. But that's all changed.

So off I went to the Holmbush Centre at Shoreham, and to the huge Marks & Spencer store there, which I reckon is the best one between Southampton and Canterbury. What fun it was to make a choice of things for the beach. It was at first tempting to go for bright, eye-catching colours. But then, on reflection, did I really want to catch the eye? And there always comes a moment when you need to put on a cardi or jacket against the inevitable breeze, and then - ouch! - you can so easily have a dreadful clash of colours. In the end, then, I went for blacks and navy blues. Here are the results, as shot in the fitting cubicle.

First up, black shorts with a nice loose black-and-white 'belt' that hangs down in an appealing way:


I'm wearing my ordinary white bra for modesty. Have to admit, I'm a bit pudgy around the middle! Next, a dotty little number in navy blue and white:


I like it because it's striking, but those big dots or spots sure do reveal the shape of my tummy! And yet really that's exactly the effect I'm looking for. I want other people on the beach to register 'typical middle-aged mum who's past her prime, but still pleasant to look at, though only for a blink of the eye'. That's right - take me in with one glance, then completely dismiss me from your mind. Perfect camouflage.

Next up, another one-piece in black with a crinkly effect up the front:


The second of these shots is perhaps the more flattering. Yes, solid black definitely has a slimming effect, and anyway goes nicely with my hair colour. I think this is the costume I'd wear most often, certainly in front of masses and masses of people. My thighs seem to be fattening up nicely - they got a bit thin and wasted while in hospital and immediately afterwards.

Finally, I tried on a black bikini:


Oh dear. Decidedly not. I'll have to get a lot more toned up if I want to think two-piece - that flabby midriff is not a good look! Apart from that, the top was rather tight around my chest. They didn't have a top in the next size up, so I didn't buy. I'm sure you'll agree that this was the right decision! Of course that means that I can't strut about on Copacabana Beach this autumn in just a yellow thong. Damn.

Well, that's the show over. Tomorrow promises to be another fine sunny day, and I for one am going to bask in the conservatory, in one of my swimsuits, sipping my elderflower cordial. Aaaah, that's the life.

4 comments:

  1. Last year was the first a bit of the Mediterranean got to experience Mel in swim-wear and vice versa. It was also my first time since transition getting back to scuba. I look forward to retiring the skirtini I wore last year in favour of something less frumpy. To hell with my lack of toning. If I frighten others away, I get more space to myself!

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  2. Actually, although I don't say so in the post, on impulse I picked up another type of black bikini before taking everything to the till. I haven't worn it yet, but it might just look better!

    I agree that one shouldn't be afraid of what people think, and I certainly don't fear that any more, but I do want to look good. That said, there are ways of distracting the eye, and in any case if I want to lay the foundation of an all-over tan, I simply must bask in a bikini.

    The next purchase is a sun lounger that will travel well in Fiona!

    Lucy

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  3. You are brave, Lucy.

    "I like it because it's striking, but those big dots or spots sure do reveal the shape of my tummy! And yet really that's exactly the effect I'm looking for. I want other people on the beach to register 'typical middle-aged mum who's past her prime, but still pleasant to look at, though only for a blink of the eye'. "

    Exactly - you're a similar shape to me. Exactly what I am.

    I like the spots

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  4. I'm filled with admiration (and more than a little envy). To use an oft-quoted phrase, "if you've got it, flaunt it"! The black costume certainly hides the bulges, but who cares? Wear your bikini with pride and soak up the sun.

    ReplyDelete

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