Sunday, 29 November 2009

A visit to Andrea Waddell's grave, with a rose

The rain finally abated for a while, and so I went to the Clayton Wood Burial Ground to pay my respects to poor Andrea, taking the last good rose left from the bunch Josephine had given me for putting her up on the previous weekend.

The ground was still very soggy though. And as before, there was nobody about to show me which was her grave. So I chose the one with the nicest flowers on it, and stuck the yellow rose I'd brought amid all the red and white carnations. It probably wasn't Andrea's actual grave, but I was doing something symbolic, and precise location didn't seem essential. Like praying inside a church for somebody who was buried at sea far away.

I live close by, and will return in drier weather, and eventually learn where she really is buried. I'm sure that from time to time I will come with a small bunch of flowers to lay on her grave. Her birthday was on 18 June. I'll certainly come then, and, who knows, may see many others there too. It may become a place of pilgimage.


  1. Thank you for this post.
    Karen x

  2. Hi Lucy
    That was a very touching thing you did and I'm sure it doesn't matter if your rose wasn't on her exact grave.

    What a tragic shame she was just 29and had already overcome so much in her young life.

    thank you for the photo's too.
    have a lovely weekend.
    Helen x

  3. A lovely way to pay your respects.
    Lucy x

  4. Dear Lucy,
    Thank you SO much for the beautiful rose you left on Andrea's grave (I've only just read about it). How lovely of you! (By the way, her grave is plot 21.) I did give a bag of Spring bulbs to the Clayton Woods office (mini daffs, crocuses, snowdrops, etc.), but they said it may not be possible to plant them in time for this Spring, as they have to wait for the ground to settle. But they will be planted some time. And I have more! Maybe we will meet up on darling A's birthday. Much love, Sonia (Andrea's mum!)

  5. Hey - I found this blog by chance after hearing about Andreas fate - I actually knew her and then I did not really know her if that makes sense. Although I do not want to make judgements on other people or how they greive but the Andrea I knew back in 2004-6 was not transgender or post op she was a woman not even a special woman she just a woman remember her as that please


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