It's time I went to bed. I feel really tired.
The main event of the day was of course the signing of the Deed Poll document soon after noon. That was in the minister's office at a Brighton church. All went well. The legal act was performed to the letter and I was transformed into Lucy Melford. For real. I felt elated, triumphant, validated as a new person. Then I had tears for the old person who had lived for so long as the wrong person.
I feel those tears again now, as I write this. For God's sake, why? It's only a name change that I can repeat again and again if I want to. It shouldn't feel so final and dramatic. But it does. I have crossed some psychological line and stand on the other side. I look back at an era that belonged to someone else. My gaze is now fixed on the new life that has begun in earnest. It's arrived. I have looked up to the mountain and the light has washed over me.
I'm sagging a bit with fatigue now, but I most certainly walked taller for the rest of the day. I wanted to be stopped and asked who I was. No-one did. Never mind. I still felt so special.