Monday, 2 November 2009

The Deed is done

It's time I went to bed. I feel really tired.

The main event of the day was of course the signing of the Deed Poll document soon after noon. That was in the minister's office at a Brighton church. All went well. The legal act was performed to the letter and I was transformed into Lucy Melford. For real. I felt elated, triumphant, validated as a new person. Then I had tears for the old person who had lived for so long as the wrong person.

I feel those tears again now, as I write this. For God's sake, why? It's only a name change that I can repeat again and again if I want to. It shouldn't feel so final and dramatic. But it does. I have crossed some psychological line and stand on the other side. I look back at an era that belonged to someone else. My gaze is now fixed on the new life that has begun in earnest. It's arrived. I have looked up to the mountain and the light has washed over me.

I'm sagging a bit with fatigue now, but I most certainly walked taller for the rest of the day. I wanted to be stopped and asked who I was. No-one did. Never mind. I still felt so special.


  1. Names are funny, powerful things, girl....

    Well done, petal.. :-)


  2. Of course you feel emotional - its a significant point, and the release of lots of pent up emotion.

    Savour the moment.

    And congrats :)

  3. Did anyone get the moutain/light washing over reference? I thought I'd throw it in as a sneaky test. Despite mention of the church, and perhaps a generally 'born again' feel to this posting, I'm not at all religious. It's a line from 'Joy', a track on Mick Jagger's 1999 'Goddess in the Doorway' album.

    I'm not myself a rabid Stones fan, but M--- (who is) has introduced me to most of their stuff over the years, and I have to say that it still stands up as credible rock with great sounds and great lyrics. And Mick's solo effort on 'Goddess' is definitely worth a listen. 'Joy' is actually sung by Bono, who gives it the best of his robust lungs, Mick only chiming in towards the end.

  4. Thought I would stop by and say hi and well done.
    Karen x

  5. Thank you all! Now let's turn our thoughts to Debbie, who must by now be installed in hospital and feeling dreadfully nervous.


  6. I so felt your emotion in this post.

    Now, just go live the rest of your life, girl!

    Calie xxx


This blog is public, and I expect comments from many sources and points of view. They will be welcome if sincere, well-expressed and add something worthwhile to the post. If not, they face removal.

Ideally I want to hear from bloggers, who, like myself, are knowable as real people and can be contacted. Anyone whose identity is questionable or impossible to verify may have their comments removed. Commercially-inspired comments will certainly be deleted - I do not allow free advertising.

Whoever you are, if you wish to make a private comment, rather than a public one, then do consider emailing me - see my Blogger Profile for the address.

Lucy Melford