Monday, 12 October 2009

Levels of Honesty

It has struck me recently that the tone of my blog postings is rather different from the tone of my comments on other people's posts. Also, what I say in blog postings is much more cheerful and cute. Is that showing two distinct levels of honesty?

The blog is not my main public showcase - the Flickr site is that - but it IS the main way I chronicle my life on the Internet. It's a diary. It's not intended for the general public (though I don't mind anyone at all reading it) but aimed squarely at the trans community. I don't feel that the blog is the right place to rant about (or attack in a political way) something that I dislike. I'd prefer to choose a proper forum for that. I want the blog to be clean, interesting, well-illustrated, upbeat and (if possible) inspiring. I probably can't deliver the last item, but it is important to me that a visitor doesn't click away bored or saddened. That means some positive editing: what topics to air, what to leave alone. And potentially a warping of the truth about my life. There's a danger of giving entirely the wrong impresson, a form of lying.

I'm not too hung up on this; I'm just articulating some thoughts that are starting to occur to me.

Comments on other people's blogs are rather different. They set the topic; if I am moved to reply, then the reply needs to be frank, and it needs to be honest and capable of further explanation and proof on challenge. So it's less likely (if it's a serious reply) that I will mess around with a jaunty Newsreel style full of clever wit and humour (or not!). The darker stuff must come out. And surely that's a different order of honesty.

I may return to this topic. It bothers me, and I haven't done it justice here.


  1. Two different entities, Lucy.

    No reason why they should have the same philosophy.

    One is an expression of you, a written "work of art", if you like. The other, the comments, are like an open note to another person.


  2. I see what you mean, Chrissie, but it still worries me that in the blog I present myself as a vacuous airhead who never had a serious thought in her life, and is now totally obsessed with material things. Which isn't being honest about myself, because I am (on one hand) as grouchy and mean as the next person, and (on the other hand) have glimmerings of spirituality, or at least a life not overwhelmed by conspicuous consumption.

    I don't see why people must read my comments on other blogs to find the grittier me who feels anguish and passion. Why can't all that be in the blog?

    The answer is, obviously, to find a way of expressing more of the darker side of myself in the blog without compromising its attractiveness. I don't want it to become Moaners Corner.

  3. Well, Lucy... I don't know...

    I mean, this is yuor blog, and you have to be the one to decide its character.

    On the other hand, it might be a mistake to feel you HAVE to explore the grittier, darker side of all this.

    I try not to. Really I do. But the blog is my release, a bit of therapy.

    I do not go as dark as some, mainly because things are not THAT bad for me. And if I feel mainly good and have no need to rant or moan, then I don't.

    And truth be told, I'm always aware that others might get concerned about me, when there is no need.

    You don't come across as a vacuous airhead, because you're not one. And remember, the people who read this blog are, in the main, the people who read your comments on other blogs, and therefore they DO get an overall impression of the real you...


  4. Thanks for the reassuring words!

    I suppose I'm talking of mountains and molehills here, but having had a life of concealment and - let's face it - of giving a false or non-real impression to a lot of people, I'm anxious not to do the same to the trans community in general and to online friends in particular. And that is partly why I'm so keen to meet as many online people as I can face to face, to show the true me. (And to experience the true them, be it told!)

    I'll just have to find a balance!

  5. Nowt wrong Lucy - your blog outlets one side of yu, no more, no less.


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Lucy Melford