I had to cancel. The ship clipped a quay in New York recently, and this has had a knock-on effect, so that, two voyages down the line, the cruise M--- and myself were going to take from 3 November has been put back by one day. Which means M--- would miss a family event. No way. So she can't come. And really I don't want to go without her. (We're getting along quite well at the moment, and it would be very 'off' to leave her behind; nor do I want anyone else to go, even if they were instantly available) So I've cancelled. At least that frees up £5,000 odd - an addition to my inheritance. I may need that cash.
Am I disappointed? Well, yes, it was going to be a good cruise; nice places I'd never been to. But as rejigged, we were going to do them in the reverse order - this would just not be the same, and in any case would mean ending the holiday with an empty THREE days sailing northwards into ever colder weather with nothing in sight until we saw the Isle of Wight. (Not that I dislike the IOW: nice place, which I like to visit. But it's no Lisbon) It would be an anticlimax.
Besides, all these alterations 'spoiled' the cruise that Dad had chosen and paid for all those months before. He wouldn't have liked the changes.
I feel sorry that I won't now be toasting Dad off Madeira or Casablanca or whatever, but I expect I'll find some other way of marking a cruise that was meant to be another father-and-son bonding experience (and after that, who knows, father-and-daughter?) but will never now come off.
Mind you, it does take pressure off me. I wasn't at all happy going under my old name, as a male. That was going to cause problems that might have been difficult to laugh off. Now I can steam ahead and change my name legally, get a new passport, and then go on future holidays as Lucy, the renowned adventuress. And presumably I will, next time, be ready for those cocktail dresses - meaning I'll fill them better, be properly hairless, and manage some light laughter with my new silvery voice!