Wednesday, 9 September 2009

The cruise outfits - worry, worry, worry

Oh dear, I've started to worry big time over what to wear on the November cruise. I sail with M--- in less than eight weeks time.

The choice of what to take isn't straightforward. If he were still alive, I'd be going with Dad and respecting his wish - which I'm sure he would still have had - to go in male mode. And even though he is no longer here, I feel strongly inclined to respect his memory by dressing as he would have liked to see me. At least on this occasion.

Also, I'm booked in under my old male name, with my passport and all other papers supporting that persona. I don't think I want to risk a formal name-change with the cruise so close. The new passport might not be ready in time. So I'll have to go as Mr J--- D---, which implies a male appearance. Of course, I could still turn up in full Lucy, and risk causing utter confusion. Great fun! But once on board it would be awkward for the crew. There would be Mr so-and-so on the list of passengers, but they'd be in a fix wondering whether to call me 'Sir' or 'Madam'. And possibly apprehensive of giving offence.

I don't suppose the other passengers would mind very much: something to talk about. Many might not even notice. On the April cruise, one old passenger, an elderly man with presumably poor eyesight, told Dad what a pleasant 'daughter' he had. I could certainly expect more of that sort of thing, even if I wore a blazer, cravat and flannel trousers, and stuck a monocle in one eye. Whatever happens, I'm not sacrificing my hair and nails.

But practical considerations rule out wearing entirely male stuff. I've just thrown away 90% of my old clothes, and what remains - the dinner suit and other formal wear - isn't going to fit well, even though bought only a few months ago. I'm not going to waste money on a fresh set of clothes for one-time use. I'll therefore have to dress mainly in female items, most of the time. That means jeans and tops, with beach shoes on my feet, nothing outrageous really.

The difficult occasions will be the 'formal' evenings. Men must wear a dinner jacket, tuxedo or very smart dark lounge suit; women a formal evening dress or cocktail dress. No ambiguous clothing allowed. Frankly, I don't think I am ready for a 'cocktail dress' yet - haven't quite got the figure for it. I need bigger boobs for that. And my playful little Transister outfits won't do at all. So on 'formal' nights I'll have to don my Godfather suit and hope for the best. Unless an unexpected surge in the chest department changes the entire scenario. Watch this space.


  1. I know that my gd would be very high if I was in a suit surrounded by all those cocktail dresses. I hope the cruse makes any compromise you have to make worth it. :)
    Lucy x

  2. I'm with Lucy. I'd have a hard time being happy in a suit, while envying every woman I saw in a pretty cocktail dress. You must want to go on this cruise, pretty bad.

    Melissa XX

  3. Look at it another way in terms of the formal nights...

    Twice a year myself and Mrs Jess cruise - at her wish I'm in guy mode. And perversely I don't mind, first because I can be as bitchy as I like about other womens outfits and not worry about the same back and, secondly, related, DJ is a lot easier to wear, less worry about choices, did I wear the same last night...

    Of course, if I was cruising as Jess I'ld live with those issues, indeed embrace them, but for now I'll work with hand lifes given me and take advantage.

  4. Well, Melissa, I really do want to go on this cruise. I want to think of Dad, celebrate his memory, and toast him with a nice glass of wine or a cocktail. And even if M--- backs out at the last moment for any reason, I'll still go on my own.

    It's actually a very decent thirteen night voyage: Madeira, the Canaries (three places), Morocco (two), Lisbon, and it's all paid for already.

    I couldn't possibly wear male garb top to toe for two weeks on end - I'd go crazy - but the compromises I CAN make won't kill me. It's really only on the formal evenings that I have to force a smile. The food and drink will be a welcome distraction.

    I assure you, this will be the last outing for my old self. Next time, Lucy will rule the waves.

    Jess, I note what you say about how easy life is if a DJ is the only option, and that's true; and it's also true that anyone can look great in a DJ; but given the choice I'd rather attempt to be the belle of the ball!


This blog is public, and I expect comments from many sources and points of view. They will be welcome if sincere, well-expressed and add something worthwhile to the post. If not, they face removal.

Ideally I want to hear from bloggers, who, like myself, are knowable as real people and can be contacted. Anyone whose identity is questionable or impossible to verify may have their comments removed. Commercially-inspired comments will certainly be deleted - I do not allow free advertising.

Whoever you are, if you wish to make a private comment, rather than a public one, then do consider emailing me - see my Blogger Profile for the address.

Lucy Melford